Featured Poem on Luzma Umpierre's page

A sure sign that I am past my evening expiration date. This was intended for my poetry blog. This happens from time to time: a sign of juggling too many blogs. Usually, I copy, paste, delete. This time I paused, reconsidered: Luzma is an academic activist who commented on Debra's #5steps post (which is still going strong), informed us that she warned colleagues about the coming state of higher ed 20-25 years ago but no one paid any attention. That would be the Ostrich Plan below.

There are multiple purposes here: honoring Luzma Umpierre albeit belatedly, a poem that fits suits the academic Zeitgeist even if not about it, a reminder that lit was once more my game that panegyrics. And who does not need a survival plan? Now for Luzma's New Poem (a regular feature on her page), Survival Plan by J.L. Torres

To live in Puerto Rico
you need a survival plan
El Departamento de Ai Bendito
recommends one from below:



The Armageddon Plan


Embrace the worst and wait.
Stock supplies from the mega retailers
populating every corner of the island.
Buy a generator, a water tank for your roof.
Worship concrete and urban sprawl.
Accept corruption as a necessary evil.
Find comfort in screeching evangelists.
When you pay taxes, thank the Lord
for humbling you to render onto Caesar.

The Hedonist Plan
Celebrate hurricanes with parties.
Take days off before and after
the world record number of holidays.
Consider car jackings an adventure.
Live out animal fantasies behind rejas.
Overdose on island television.
Find pleasure in the misery of Dominicans.
Make Plaza Las Americas your second home.
Drive on shoulders & concrete dividers;
wave to fellow motorists as you do.

The Ostrich Plan
Stick your head in the sand,
(Viable; you live on a tropical island)
If too impatient to reach a beach,
honor the proverbial and tuck it up your butt instead.
Do not read crime statistics or any social metric.
Do not follow politics.
Ignore unemployment figures.
Ignore cars passing on the shoulders & concrete dividers.
Worship insularismo.
Consider driving over crater potholes like a Disney ride.
Keep chanting “This is the best of two worlds.”

Copyright J.L.Torres All Rights Reserved. FEATURED POEM @ Luzma Umpierre